Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 28, 2022 Report Share Posted October 28, 2022 How long is one minute? It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 28, 2022 Report Share Posted October 28, 2022 “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.” ― Albert Einstein wcw43921 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted October 28, 2022 Report Share Posted October 28, 2022 That’s consciousness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 28, 2022 Report Share Posted October 28, 2022 Hm, no, that latter sounds more like a daydream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 6 hours ago, Pariah said: “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.” ― Albert Einstein "Sit with a pretty girl for a minute, and to her, it seems like an hour." Pariah and slikmar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slikmar Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 22 minutes ago, BoloOfEarth said: "Sit with a pretty girl for a minute, and to her, it seems like an hour." But if I didnt explain to her exactly how the powers in the movie worked, how would she have ever known? BoloOfEarth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 11 hours ago, Pariah said: “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.” ― Albert Einstein That's amore - Dean Martin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 That's an immoral moray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 Just found out that “Aaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh" isn't a real word. I can't tell you how angry I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 How do crustaceans answer the phone? Shello? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted October 30, 2022 Report Share Posted October 30, 2022 I’m no longer buying anything with Velcro — it’s a total rip off. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted October 30, 2022 Report Share Posted October 30, 2022 I would love to get paid to sleep. It would be my dream job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 30, 2022 Report Share Posted October 30, 2022 Why was Fibonacci 3 afraid of Fibonacci 5? Because 5, 8, 13. mattingly and Logan D. Hurricanes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 30, 2022 Report Share Posted October 30, 2022 Wow, that's esoteric. I like it. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 30, 2022 Report Share Posted October 30, 2022 I thought about taking a job at the fire hydrant factory, but you couldn't park anywhere near the place. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 30, 2022 Report Share Posted October 30, 2022 A busload of politicians was driving down a country road one day when the bus ran off the road and crashed into Old Pete's barn. Old Pete got off his tractor and surveyed the carnage, which was considerable. Eventually, he decided that there was no choice but to bury the politicians. A few days later the local sheriff came out and saw the bus, half of it still sticking out of Old Pete's barn. He asked Old Pete, "There or a bunch of politicians on that bus. What happened to all of them?" Old Pete said, "Well, I buried 'em." "Really?" asked the sheriff incredulously. "Were they ALL dead?" Old Pete said, "Well, some of 'em said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie." Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 30, 2022 Report Share Posted October 30, 2022 A wealthy woman was enjoying a glass of wine in her kitchen when the maid walked in and said, "Ma'am, I'd like to talk to you about a pay raise." She put down her wine and asked her, "Why do you think you deserve a pay raise?" "Three reasons," she replied. "First, I'm a better housekeeper than you are." "Hmmph. Who told you that?" "Your husband did. Second, I'm a better cook than you are." "Oh, you are? Who told you that?" "Again, your husband. And third, I'm better in bed than you are." "You'd better not tell me that my husband said that," she warned. "No, of course not," the maid said, smiling. "It was the pool boy." Logan D. Hurricanes and Ockham's Spoon 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted October 31, 2022 Report Share Posted October 31, 2022 I was kidnapped by a bunch of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 4, 2022 Report Share Posted November 4, 2022 The Bible and the Quran both tell us to love one another. The Kama Sutra is a bit more specific. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 4, 2022 Report Share Posted November 4, 2022 That reminds me, I need to get a copy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 4, 2022 Report Share Posted November 4, 2022 Her: "Dad, I need your help. I have a flat tire." Dad: "Did you try calling your husband?" Her: "Yes, but he's not answering his phone." Dad: "Well, do you have a spare?" Her: "Well, yeah, but he's not answering either." dmjalund 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted November 5, 2022 Report Share Posted November 5, 2022 An undertaker comes home one day, disheveled and with a black eye. His wife asks him what happened. "Well, I had a pretty rough day. Got a call about asking for help with a body they found in a hotel. I asked what the trouble was, and they said that the deceased has such a large erection, that they couldn't fit it in the body bag. So I headed over there, went into the room, and sure enough there's this big guy laying on the bed with an enormous erection. So I grabbed the fellow's member with both hands and tried to bend it in half." the undertaker says, grimacing at this last part. "Oh, that must have been awful." his wife says. "But how did you get a black eye?" The undertaker shakes his head ruefully. "Turns out I was in the wrong room." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted November 5, 2022 Report Share Posted November 5, 2022 [job interview] "Tell me a strength." I'm a decision maker. "Excellent. How about a weakness?" I'm a bad decision maker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 5, 2022 Report Share Posted November 5, 2022 It's actually only "Frankenstein" if it's created in the Frankenstein region of France. Otherwise, it's a sparkling monster. Christougher and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted November 6, 2022 Report Share Posted November 6, 2022 Ockham's Spoon and Logan D. Hurricanes 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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