Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Mouth opened before brain began functioning?

 

What is this... "brain" you speak of?

[Cancer]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

What is this... "brain" you speak of?

 

Zombie attractant.

[Savinien]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In one of the upcropping D&D 3.5 games on Hero Central, I play a Duergar Psion, Ectopic Adept to be precise. The party consists of prisoners of a massive Illithid prison in the Underdark. Our memory is fragmentary and we happened upon a Devourer's minor artifact which could Mind Switch.

 

My character decides he can use this contraption to piece some memories together and possibly help us escape the prison. The device attaches to a steel table and he asks for volunteers and actually get one.

 

Not thinking I posted this:

 

"Well done, Human. Jett, did you say your name was?" It was passing strange to see such emotion from the universally dour Duergar, but there it was nonetheless.

 

Denethes affixes what straps there are on the metal table, "Musn't have you jerking off when the process begins. There will likely be some... repercussions of the Mind Delving."

 

Life will never be the same.

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

While playing in RJCurrie's Wrong-Righters game at GenCon, we come across this quote. I'm already giggling like a moron at the name Friction Lass. That her picture is reminiscent of a playboy picture with seemingly impossibly attached barely costume does not help.

 

"You just have to apply the friction in the right places."

 

In my defense, the female player (from my local gaming group, actually) also giggled at that.

[ghost-angel]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Built To Last's player is singing Safety Dance, I really forget why.

 

GM: You can stop now. I can kill your character.

 

 

I'm fairly sure it wasn't in jest.

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A pick-up Star Wars game.

 

Me (GM): "You report to the hangar bay. You know that scene in A New Hope, where Luke first sees the Millenium Falcon, and exclaims, 'What a piece of junk!'?"

Player: "Yeah, but what does that have to do with ... oh."

Me: "Remember how Luke was wrong? You're not. You're not sure this ship can make point-five past walking speed."

=========================

"Can you pilot an aircar?"

"No ..."

"Me neither. Hop in."

[OzMike]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Built To Last's player is singing Safety Dance, I really forget why.

 

GM: You can stop now. I can kill your character.

 

 

I'm fairly sure it wasn't in jest.

 

But I love that song

[Karmakaze]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

GM: You don't know anything about volcanoes.

Player1: (OOC) Well, just what he learned in high school.

Player2: (OOC) Right -- they're filled with baking soda, vinegar, and red food coloring!

[teh bunneh]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Built To Last's player is singing Safety Dance, I really forget why.

 

GM: You can stop now. I can kill your character.

 

I'm fairly sure it wasn't in jest.

 

And just what is wrong with the Safety Dance?

[ghost-angel]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

But I love that song

 

And just what is wrong with the Safety Dance?

 

I believe the majority of the players at the table like the song. Possibly even the GM.

 

It was the rendition of that song that caused issue.

[Basil]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

I believe the majority of the players at the table like the song. Possibly even the GM.

 

It was the rendition of that song that caused issue.

 

Ah, I see.

 

As they say, some people can sing. Some people---sing.

[Tim]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My dad always said that he couldn't carry a tune if it was in a bucket. He also always reminded folks that the bible said "Make a Joyful noise unto the Lord" So he tried to make his noise as joyful as possible.

[Weldun]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

My dad always said that he couldn't carry a tune if it was in a bucket. He also always reminded folks that the bible said "Make a Joyful noise unto the Lord" So he tried to make his noise as joyful as possible.

He sang "Happy Happy Joy Joy"?

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

He sang "Happy Happy Joy Joy"?

 

"I mace him in the NUTS!"

[Guest Major Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

"I mace him in the NUTS!"

 

Is that just to stop the singing, or is it also to prevent the recipient

from contributing further to the gene pool?

 

 

Major Tom

[Remjin]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Is that just to stop the singing, or is it also to prevent the recipient

from contributing further to the gene pool?

 

 

Major Tom

 

Yes.

 

Its also a character quote, stated previously. Sort of on topic. It also may change the pitch of the singing?

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Not at a game, per se, but 3/4s of the gaming group went out for pizza so, naturally, the subject turned to gaming.

 

"Have you noticed that every time Vixen goes into the training room, Rowan has to make a new rule?"

[Balabanto]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

The PC's are interested in discovering why Psiclotron is having mysterious headaches, and another PC, Seeker, is in town with his superspeedster girlfriend, who is still pissed at him.

 

Mesa: "Hey! This guy seeker is in town, and he's got the right set of abilities for what we need!"

 

Gauntlet: That's a great idea. Let me call him...(Ring...Ring...)

 

Hello, Seeker? This is Gauntlet of the San Diego Knights? Could you come over here, we'd like you to do some tests on someone. Oh, and bring your snarky girlfriend.

 

Steel Thunder: Gauntlet, why did you ask him to bring his snarky girlfriend?

 

Gauntlet: Well, she's fast, and then she can pull Psiclotron out before he gets seriously hurt.

[Susano]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Session 2 of "Daybreak Rising" (a Fantasy Hero setting):

 

Steve has made die rolls by 4, 5, 5, 6, and 10 (and so on).

Michael: "Someone get a bucket of water! Steve's dice are on fire!"

 

Grady (OOC): "The Shambling Mound is a larger version of the much smaller relative: the Shambling Almond Joy."

 

GM: "What's [septimius's] PER Rolls?"

Grady: "14-, I bought a 23 INT for a reason."

 

GM: "In the middle of your climb, Zafi starts casting a spell."

Ross: "Veskar hits the dirt."

 

Steve: "Patris dispels magic by hitting it."

 

GM to Nestor: "What are you dong."

Mike: *sees Nestor's die roll of '15'* "Missing."

Nestor: "Exactly." *starts laughing*

 

Grady: "Patris's Presence Attacks work."

Josh: "That's 'cause he's the hero."

 

Grady's comment on the villain having Mental Defense: "What a knob."

[Balabanto]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From a Robin Hood Style D+D game where the PC's have two wizardly characters. a Ranger/Wizard and an Elemental Savant type wizard, who is a more powerful wizard.

 

Thinking that perhaps she might be able to hit him up for spells, she reviews his spell list, only to discover that her own spellbook, pound for pound, has more spells in it, a greater depth and variety of them, and leaves her better prepared.

 

She is Taubrynna Tammarath, Champion of the Underdog.

 

He is Zasheir of Calimshan, worshipper of Kossuth, whose battle cry is "Not from Thay! Not From Thay!"

 

Taubrynna: So you can cast more powerful spells than me, Zasheir of Calimshan?

 

Zasheir: I can.

 

Taubrynna: NOW START!

[BoloOfEarth]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From last night's Champions game:

 

A DEMON Morbane, using a magical staff, turned two of the five heroes of S-Squad into stone (along with Rubicon, a solo NPC hero the PCs have gotten help from with magical stuff). The heroes got the staff, but the Morbane teleported away -- after saying that the petrification becomes permanent in three days.

 

The remaining three heroes -- none of whom have any magical powers, skills, or knowledge -- were trying to figure out how to return their teammates to normal.

 

Squeeze: Normally, we'd go to Rubicon for help on this...

GM: He's a statue right now.

Squeeze: ...so he won't be much help.

 

Squeeze (OOC): This globe on the end of the staff…is there anything in there?

GM: The globe is filled with a smoky-white liquid. Moving the staff around, you can see that there *is* something in there.

Sentinel: Like a basilisk’s eye?

GM: (to Sentinel) Maaaaybe. (to Squeeze) So, are you checking it out?

Squeeze: Um… no.

 

The heroes were contacted by and met with a lawyer (Irving Probalino, Esquire) of a magic-using supervillain (Codex) that S-Squad put into Stronghold a few months ago. The meeting took place at a restaurant, and PRIMUS (suspecting one of Codex’s teammates in the Alexandrian Order might be there) sent a bunch of agents there undercover. Probalino recognized one of the PRIMUS agents.

 

Probalino: I find it worrisome that PRIMUS seems to be here in force.

Squeeze: They were at our base when you called. We couldn’t do anything about it.

Probalino: (Opens his menu) Ah, well, we might as well order dinner…

Serendipity: (Opens her menu, sees a note inside reading “Go to the bathroom”) Well, *apparently* I have to go to the bathroom.”

 

In the bathrooms, the heroes discovered that the mirrors were (temporary) magical portals to the Alexandrian Order’s base. There, they met with Codex, who offers to help cure their teammates in exchange for the “Staff of the Basilisk”.

 

Sentinel: Aren’t you supposed to still be in Stronghold?

Codex: (smiles)

Squeeze: Astral projections are wonderful things, aren’t they?

GM: He looks solid enough.

(Serendipity reaches over and touches Codex’s arm)

Codex (looks down at her fingers on his sleeve) It’s silk. Doesn’t it feel nice? I bought this suit in Italy the last time I was there.

 

Sentinel: So, after you cure Synergy and Styx, you’ll go back to Stronghold?

Codex: As far as PRIMUS is concerned, I’ve never left.

Sentinel: How’d you pull that trick off?

Codex: (smiles smugly) Trade secret.

 

Squeeze: So, how long will it take to turn them back to normal?

Serendipity: …because the Morbane said we only have three days.

Squeeze: Thanks a lot. I was trying to trick Codex into verifying if there really is a deadline. (Looks at Codex while shaking his head, like ‘see what I have to work with?’)

Codex: (aside to Squeeze) I have Torg on my team. His *sword* is smarter than he is. Consider yourself lucky.

 

The heroes refused Codex’s offer of help. Sentinel did some research on basilisks, and the team called Witchcraft (from the Champions).

 

Sentinel: Can you tell us how to use the staff to cure our friends?

Witchcraft: It’s not something I can teach you over the phone. It’s not like you can just “swish and flick” (said disdainfully). If you can find the incantations, I might be able to assist you. I can’t make any guarantees, as I also have time-sensitive issues to deal with.

Squeeze: (OOC) Of course. Can’t be simple, can it? (to Witchcraft) Can the staff be destroyed?

Witchcraft: Method of destruction varies with the magical artifact. Some must be destroyed in a specific way, such as being tossed into an active volcano during a full moon. Others can be destroyed by brute force, although their magic often makes them much tougher than normal.

(Squeeze is contemplating his 2x Penetrating HKA Squeeze attack)

Witchcraft: Of course, the release of magical energy can have sometimes catastrophic effects upon the environment…

Squeeze:

 

The heroes discovered that a scroll was stolen from an Athens museum, and surmised the scroll has info on the Staff of the Basilisk. They also eventually found out the location of the Morbane, reconnoitered, and then called in PRIMUS to help.

 

Sentinel (to PRIMUS): Oh, and they have a basilisk in the shed southeast of the main building, so bring mirrors.

 

The heroes rushed into the main building and fought the Morbane and DEMON Initiates, while PRIMUS took on the DEMON guards outside.

 

Sentinel (using her x-ray vision): Four people just popped into the room on the southwest corner. I think they’re from the Alexandrian Order. (to GM) Is the basilisk still in the shed?

GM: You don’t know, you’re not looking in that direction right now. (evil grin) Do you want to?

Sentinel: Would a basilisk gaze still affect me through x-ray vision?

GM: Dunno. Nobody’s ever tested that. Want to give it a try?

Sentinel: Ahhhhhh… no.

 

Squeeze: The Order’s after the scroll. (to PRIMUS): We need you to lob some flash-bangs into the southwest corner room.

PRIMUS Agent: We’re a little busy out here, fighting a damn basilisk! (Sound of gunfire) It got Johnson! Oh, crap!

Sentinel: You *did* bring mirrors, didn’t you?

PRIMUS Agent: Do you have any idea how hard it is to target with a mirror? Whatta ya think we are, trick shots?

Squeeze: Use grenades. Lots and lots of grenades.

 

GM: You hear a loud animal hiss.

Sentinel (to PRIMUS): Oh, their hiss is supposed to be deadly, too. You did bring earplugs, didn’t you? (to GM) I did warn them about that, didn’t I?

(GM shakes head no)

Sentinel (to PRIMUS): Sorry. My bad.

 

The Morbane, Greekfire, hit Torg with a flame attack (Continuous, Uncontrolled).

 

Torg: Ow! Toga man hit Torg with fire! Torg not like fire!

Squeeze: Ooo, in that full plate mail… he’s gotta be like a baked potato in tin foil.

Torg (swings his sword at Greekfire and misses): Cutter missed toga man!

Torg’s sword: My name is Cuthbain!

Torg: Cutter!

Torg’s sword: Cuthbain!

Torg: Cutter!

Torg’s sword: (mutters) Moron…

 

Torg: Codex told Torg to get mister string man.

Squeeze: But that guy in the toga, he set you on fire and then ran upstairs. The bad toga man! Don’t you want to help us get him instead?

Torg (mentally derailed): Toga man bad. Torg not like fire. Maybe Torg *should* stop toga man…

Serendipity: I’m sure that’s what Codex would tell you to do.

Torg (back on track): Oh! Codex say Torg need to get silly string man! (swings his sword and war hammer at Squeeze)

Squeeze:

 

Greekfire was eventually cornered upstairs by Sentinel and Squeeze, while PRIMUS was moving in on the main building.

Greekfire: I’ll make you a deal. I cure your friends, for my freedom.

Squeeze (thinking about how little time remains): Crap. Okay, fine. You’re going with me. (Swings away with Greekfire)

Greekfire: I’ll need the staff to cure them.

Squeeze: (gives him the ‘I wasn’t born yesterday’ look) We’ll *both* hold the staff.

 

The heroes were cured (and the Morbane teleported away).

Squeeze: Now we just need to destroy this staff.

GM: Are you going to Squeeze it?

Squeeze: Nah. I’ll give it to Synergy; he can throw into Mount Pinatubo during the next lunar eclipse.

[bigdamnhero]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

It was the rendition of that song that caused issue.

Yup.

 

Here are a few other recent ones from that game:

 

Approaching a desert oasis, Built To Last's infrared sensors detect four human-sized heat sources, one of which is 10-15° hotter than normal. Entering the oasis, they’re met by a beautiful woman sunbathing in a bikini.

BTL: (OOC) “Is she the hot one…I mean…is she the warmer heat source?”

 

Now in the land of Egyptian myth, Our Heroes discuss stratagems. OOC, they joke about posing as Amway representatives.

GM: “Actually that bluff would probably be very effective in Egypt.”

Inertia: “Why?”

GM: “You’re gonna hate me…”

BTL: “Say it.”

GM: “Cuz it’s a pyramid scheme.”

Enigma: “Sit down and move the adventure forward.”

 

Leo (Promethean) suggests a course of action that doesn’t suck.

Inertia: “I was about to agree, but that would be the first time we ever followed one of Leo’s plans. Do we want to set that precedent?”

 

The heroes have captured two villains, including a sorcerer named Mendeleev Sylvestri. Having had no luck questioning Sylvestri, BTL knocks him out and turns to question the other guy.

BTL: (OOC) “He just saw me clock Sylvestri, does that help?”

GM: “It doesn’t hurt. Well, it hurt Sylvestri...”

[WarriorKnight]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

In an AntiTerrorist game using Twlight 2000;Our Team Sniper was ordered by the Team Leader too "Shoot anyone who comes out that door......The Team Leader stepped out the door a couple seconds later w/o canceling the order.Our team sniper liked to carry a Barrett .50 cal..The TL player is still kidded about it 10 years later.

[Guest Major Tom]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From last night's Champions game:

 

A DEMON Morbane, using a magical staff, turned two of the five heroes of S-Squad into stone (along with Rubicon, a solo NPC hero the PCs have gotten help from with magical stuff). The heroes got the staff, but the Morbane teleported away -- after saying that the petrification becomes permanent in three days.

 

The remaining three heroes -- none of whom have any magical powers, skills, or knowledge -- were trying to figure out how to return their teammates to normal.

 

Squeeze: Normally, we'd go to Rubicon for help on this...

GM: He's a statue right now.

Squeeze: ...so he won't be much help.

 

Squeeze (OOC): This globe on the end of the staff…is there anything in there?

GM: The globe is filled with a smoky-white liquid. Moving the staff around, you can see that there *is* something in there.

Sentinel: Like a basilisk’s eye?

GM: (to Sentinel) Maaaaybe. (to Squeeze) So, are you checking it out?

Squeeze: Um… no.

 

The heroes were contacted by and met with a lawyer (Irving Probalino, Esquire) of a magic-using supervillain (Codex) that S-Squad put into Stronghold a few months ago. The meeting took place at a restaurant, and PRIMUS (suspecting one of Codex’s teammates in the Alexandrian Order might be there) sent a bunch of agents there undercover. Probalino recognized one of the PRIMUS agents.

 

Probalino: I find it worrisome that PRIMUS seems to be here in force.

Squeeze: They were at our base when you called. We couldn’t do anything about it.

Probalino: (Opens his menu) Ah, well, we might as well order dinner…

Serendipity: (Opens her menu, sees a note inside reading “Go to the bathroom”) Well, *apparently* I have to go to the bathroom.”

 

In the bathrooms, the heroes discovered that the mirrors were (temporary) magical portals to the Alexandrian Order’s base. There, they met with Codex, who offers to help cure their teammates in exchange for the “Staff of the Basilisk”.

 

Sentinel: Aren’t you supposed to still be in Stronghold?

Codex: (smiles)

Squeeze: Astral projections are wonderful things, aren’t they?

GM: He looks solid enough.

(Serendipity reaches over and touches Codex’s arm)

Codex (looks down at her fingers on his sleeve) It’s silk. Doesn’t it feel nice? I bought this suit in Italy the last time I was there.

 

Sentinel: So, after you cure Synergy and Styx, you’ll go back to Stronghold?

Codex: As far as PRIMUS is concerned, I’ve never left.

Sentinel: How’d you pull that trick off?

Codex: (smiles smugly) Trade secret.

 

Squeeze: So, how long will it take to turn them back to normal?

Serendipity: …because the Morbane said we only have three days.

Squeeze: Thanks a lot. I was trying to trick Codex into verifying if there really is a deadline. (Looks at Codex while shaking his head, like ‘see what I have to work with?’)

Codex: (aside to Squeeze) I have Torg on my team. His *sword* is smarter than he is. Consider yourself lucky.

 

The heroes refused Codex’s offer of help. Sentinel did some research on basilisks, and the team called Witchcraft (from the Champions).

 

Sentinel: Can you tell us how to use the staff to cure our friends?

Witchcraft: It’s not something I can teach you over the phone. It’s not like you can just “swish and flick” (said disdainfully). If you can find the incantations, I might be able to assist you. I can’t make any guarantees, as I also have time-sensitive issues to deal with.

Squeeze: (OOC) Of course. Can’t be simple, can it? (to Witchcraft) Can the staff be destroyed?

Witchcraft: Method of destruction varies with the magical artifact. Some must be destroyed in a specific way, such as being tossed into an active volcano during a full moon. Others can be destroyed by brute force, although their magic often makes them much tougher than normal.

(Squeeze is contemplating his 2x Penetrating HKA Squeeze attack)

Witchcraft: Of course, the release of magical energy can have sometimes catastrophic effects upon the environment…

Squeeze:

 

The heroes discovered that a scroll was stolen from an Athens museum, and surmised the scroll has info on the Staff of the Basilisk. They also eventually found out the location of the Morbane, reconnoitered, and then called in PRIMUS to help.

 

Sentinel (to PRIMUS): Oh, and they have a basilisk in the shed southeast of the main building, so bring mirrors.

 

The heroes rushed into the main building and fought the Morbane and DEMON Initiates, while PRIMUS took on the DEMON guards outside.

 

Sentinel (using her x-ray vision): Four people just popped into the room on the southwest corner. I think they’re from the Alexandrian Order. (to GM) Is the basilisk still in the shed?

GM: You don’t know, you’re not looking in that direction right now. (evil grin) Do you want to?

Sentinel: Would a basilisk gaze still affect me through x-ray vision?

GM: Dunno. Nobody’s ever tested that. Want to give it a try?

Sentinel: Ahhhhhh… no.

 

Squeeze: The Order’s after the scroll. (to PRIMUS): We need you to lob some flash-bangs into the southwest corner room.

PRIMUS Agent: We’re a little busy out here, fighting a damn basilisk! (Sound of gunfire) It got Johnson! Oh, crap!

Sentinel: You *did* bring mirrors, didn’t you?

PRIMUS Agent: Do you have any idea how hard it is to target with a mirror? Whatta ya think we are, trick shots?

Squeeze: Use grenades. Lots and lots of grenades.

 

GM: You hear a loud animal hiss.

Sentinel (to PRIMUS): Oh, their hiss is supposed to be deadly, too. You did bring earplugs, didn’t you? (to GM) I did warn them about that, didn’t I?

(GM shakes head no)

Sentinel (to PRIMUS): Sorry. My bad.

 

The Morbane, Greekfire, hit Torg with a flame attack (Continuous, Uncontrolled).

 

Torg: Ow! Toga man hit Torg with fire! Torg not like fire!

Squeeze: Ooo, in that full plate mail… he’s gotta be like a baked potato in tin foil.

Torg (swings his sword at Greekfire and misses): Cutter missed toga man!

Torg’s sword: My name is Cuthbain!

Torg: Cutter!

Torg’s sword: Cuthbain!

Torg: Cutter!

Torg’s sword: (mutters) Moron…

 

Torg: Codex told Torg to get mister string man.

Squeeze: But that guy in the toga, he set you on fire and then ran upstairs. The bad toga man! Don’t you want to help us get him instead?

Torg (mentally derailed): Toga man bad. Torg not like fire. Maybe Torg *should* stop toga man…

Serendipity: I’m sure that’s what Codex would tell you to do.

Torg (back on track): Oh! Codex say Torg need to get silly string man! (swings his sword and war hammer at Squeeze)

Squeeze:

 

Greekfire was eventually cornered upstairs by Sentinel and Squeeze, while PRIMUS was moving in on the main building.

Greekfire: I’ll make you a deal. I cure your friends, for my freedom.

Squeeze (thinking about how little time remains): Crap. Okay, fine. You’re going with me. (Swings away with Greekfire)

Greekfire: I’ll need the staff to cure them.

Squeeze: (gives him the ‘I wasn’t born yesterday’ look) We’ll *both* hold the staff.

 

The heroes were cured (and the Morbane teleported away).

Squeeze: Now we just need to destroy this staff.

GM: Are you going to Squeeze it?

Squeeze: Nah. I’ll give it to Synergy; he can throw into Mount Pinatubo during the next lunar eclipse.

 

Yeah, it can be a definite drag when the villainous moron makes his

INT roll...

 

 

Major Tom

[Super Squirrel]

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

All quotes broke off due to one scene in the game, also the first quote of the week.

Singirl: "Hey, teach!"

Singirl whips off her top

 

Yuki: "If I wanted to cop a feel, apparently Singril wouldn't mind."

 

Unknown: "You could always call that tactic Operation DD"

 

Brick (regarding a proposed team name): "Team DD"