Enforcer84 Posted April 18, 2010 Report Share Posted April 18, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Had a wonderful time last night with Dr. A and the Widow S. Widow S (unzipping her jacket): Would you get me the mustard from the refrigerator? Lucius: Yes, and you didn't have to show me your cleavage to get me to do it, but thank you. Dr. A (Laughs): I wasn't going to say it. Widow S (surprised): I was just warm! Which I'm sure is the case, she knows she doesn't have to display cleavage to get me to do things. Asking nicely usually works. Lucius Alexander And a very nice palindromedary Absolutely, but (at least in my case) the cleavage would not be an unwelcome addition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "So what exactly are you doing with a bowl and a screwdriver?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My pre-school aged daughter: "I want my hands to be super clean like Wonder Woman!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbywolfe Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I havent read the story, and I havent seen the movie, but.... Ill just bet you that the "catch" is that the next person who gets the box doesnt know YOU, and YOU are the person who dies when they press the button. As a "reward" for being so gorram callous with other peoples' lives. If you DONT press the button (indicating that you have a conscience), then you are NOT the one who dies the next time its pressed....That honor goes to the last person who actually pressed it. And if it doesnt work that way, the writers should be rochambeaux'ed You think someone should play rock-paper-scissors with them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. The South Park rochambeaux, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 20, 2010 Report Share Posted April 20, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I'm going out with the girls tonight, so you're on your own for dinner." "Woo hoo! It's pizza and hooker time!" "Sigh. Fine. Just save the receipt, please." I <3 my wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted April 20, 2010 Report Share Posted April 20, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I'm going out with the girls tonight, so you're on your own for dinner." "Woo hoo! It's pizza and hooker time!" "Sigh. Fine. Just save the receipt, please." I <3 my wife. Would that show up on your taxes as a business related expense, then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted April 20, 2010 Report Share Posted April 20, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Hello sir, would you like to join us this thursday at our sex trafficking workshop?" "What? Is that like a how-to?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Quote from memory, email at work: Overuse of computer mainframe is causing the system to crash. Main cause is compiling daily reports. Make sure to compile daily reports early before the system crashes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Hero Posted April 21, 2010 Report Share Posted April 21, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I'm going out with the girls tonight, so you're on your own for dinner." "Woo hoo! It's pizza and hooker time!" "Sigh. Fine. Just save the receipt, please." I <3 my wife. Sorry, bunneh, but the system tells me that I have to spread rep around a bit before I can rep you again. This is an awesome quote! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Walking out of a meeting... Co-worker: That was a good meeting. Quick, efficient, and done. Me: I make love like that: Quick, efficient, and done. Now I feel like ordering a pizza. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Two co-workers are having a conversation... Spoiled for ick... Co-worker 1: Opinions are like ***holes. Everyone has one, and they all stink. Co-worker 2: Yeah, but I can't put my fist inside a person's opinion. Everyone in the room: Co-worker 2: What? I work in the porn industry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. It's been an interesting, and amusing, day... In the lunch room... Male co-worker: I'd never eat anything that came out of a chicken's butt. Female co-worker: Eggs don't really come out of a chicken's butt, do they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted April 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. It's been an interesting, and amusing, day... In the lunch room... Male co-worker: I'd never eat anything that came out of a chicken's butt. Female co-worker: Eggs don't really come out of a chicken's butt, do they? Did he proceed to tell her where milk comes from? Lucius Alexander Where do palindromedaries come from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Teh Bunneh's quotes reminded me of an exchange many, many years ago. We were cleaning up a kitchen that was a real mess, including windows that you could barely see through. I was a teenage boy at the time, and the woman was rather attractive. Woman: You don't do windows, do you? Me: Sure, I do windows. I'll do anything that moves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemming Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. For some reason I'm reminded of taking my co-worker to Falafel Drive-In. (Years ago when I was still a carnivore) Co-worker: "Do they have vegetarian falafels?" Me: "They use vegetable oil to fry them, so yes." Co-worker: "but what about the falafels themselves?" :facepalm: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Two co-workers are having a conversation... Spoiled for ick... Co-worker 1: Opinions are like ***holes. Everyone has one, and they all stink. Co-worker 2: Yeah, but I can't put my fist inside a person's opinion. Everyone in the room: Co-worker 2: What? I work in the porn industry! He's clearly not one of the creative guys. I bet I could put my fist through someone's opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 22, 2010 Report Share Posted April 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. He's clearly not one of the creative guys. I bet I could put my fist through someone's opinion. Alas, the face is only what people use to express the opinions: it is not, itself, the opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Alas' date=' the face is only what people use to [b']express[/b] the opinions: it is not, itself, the opinion. I'm Metaphysical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. From work today. After a discussion about promotions has drifted on into irritating coworkers. Friendly Coworker: "Someday, he's going to Hell." Me: "Yeah, but in the D.O.C. that's just a lateral transfer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevelon Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "A couple of beers and a Godzilla movie will make any day better" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted April 24, 2010 Report Share Posted April 24, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "The only language I can speak is English, and I'm not too sure about that half the time." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted April 25, 2010 Report Share Posted April 25, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Wife: *reading Powerball numbers* "01-12-53-56-57 5... what kind of numbers are these?" Me: "Random." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted April 26, 2010 Report Share Posted April 26, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Querysphinx: Man, can you imagine how tough it would be to live your life like a 17 year old, always in that hormonal rage... What am I talking about? You don't have to imagine it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me: "I am the Elmer Fudd of Romance." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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