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Quote of the Week from my gaming group...


Darren Watts

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Millennium Guard Headquarters...Just after the discovery that there is a town full of Robots somewhere in Montana.

 

 

Gibraltar: Wait? The government can’t just do whatever they want? Someone really screwed up the government!

 

Magus: Unless you want to be recycled as building materials, you had better change your mind.

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

This week's quote from our group's Vibora bay campaign is one of those kind of

quotes that can be taken in a context decidedly different from what the person

who said it intended.

 

During a battle against Dark Seraph and the Crowns of Krim, one of our team's

female NPC members was flying into the fight and was about to zap one of the

ground-bound baddies when he zapped her instead. After figuring out the dam-

age done, our GM made the following statement:

 

"And she takes seven inches of knock-up."

 

Talk about interesting mental images...

 

 

Major Tom :eg:

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From the Saturday Night Skeleton Crew Follies --

 

The Setup: AD&D system with first level characters, four players (Barry, Chuck, Don & I), GM's name is Josh.

 

The Hook: Church of St. Cutberth is offering 10 gp bounty for each ochre colored cloak we can bring in (which are worn by worshipers of a cult of evil).

 

Me: What's so evil about somebody worshiping a demon of darkness? Live and let live I say. (says the chaotic neutral half-orc barbarian)

 

Josh: The church will pay a bounty of 10 gold pieces for each of these cloaks the cultists wear.

 

Me: 10 gold for each [urine - expletive deleted] colored rag? I'm in. Can I make them myself?

 

Barry: Now there's a racket worthy of a bard.

 

Don: Yeah, but only an orc half-breed would actually want to make them.

 

Chuck: There's no need for that, we'll just get a bolt of colored cloth from the fabric store.

 

Me: Fabric store? This is the fantasy middle ages! Go [urinate] on a sheep and get the loomist to weave it. I'd let her in for a cut of the action.

 

Barry: Nine Hells, skip the craft projects already! Let's go to the source and trade for them!

 

Me: Now there's a plan. They give us the cloaks, we cash in and split it with them 50-50, we get paid without having to bloody our steel, they get a sudden boost to their war chest -- everybody makes out!

 

Josh: They are not just going to give you their cloaks, guys.

 

Me: Say what? Hell, I'd strip naked for 5 gold!

 

Josh: The cloaks are symbols of their faith, they won't deal for them.

 

Barry: I'll bet with a good enough roll on my diplomacy feat I could get them to go for it. (says the bard) I could tell them to do it or I'll let the half-orc strip naked for them.

 

Me: I'd need a proper amount of libation, first.

 

Don: Well, then [forget] that -- as much grog as he guzzles, there'd be no profit in it. (the elf mage)

 

Me: Just because I don't drink my ale from a wuss thimble like you pansy elves do...

 

Chuck: A flagon is not a proper drinking vessel! And besides, I paid for it!

 

Me: Oh, that's right -- I forgot to thank you for it. (BELCH)

 

Josh (in tears -- of laughter or frustration, he never did say): Okay, BREAK damnit, while I can still breathe! I [deperately] need a cigarette.

 

Yeah, a good time was had by all, and we actually started doing the stuff Josh intended us to do after the break. :) And people wonder why I almost never get to play...

 

Matt "Problem-player" Frisbee

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From a long time ago, my villain yells at the brick of the group "You incompetent worm!"

 

In a slip of the tongue, the hero yells back, "Hey, no one calls me an incontinent word!"

 

So... is that what they mean by verbal diarrhea? :D

 

Okay, I know Scrabble isn’t a role playing game but I want to share this quote anyway:

 

Me (While looking over a really pathetic set of letters): “I’m consonentated!”

My Wife (This was when I was married): “What?”

Me: “I can’t move my vowels.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, that has nothing to do with why she divorced me.

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Putting palindromedary on a triple word score

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Unfortunately, this phrase came up during an exchange of war stories rather than in play, because in the proper context, it would've been a gem.

 

Guy GMing the new group we're joining: His house was built on more points than he was, and...well, one of the other members of the group used "Detect Thoughts," and "Detect Evil Intent" on the house and...

 

The Missus: Let me guess, he vomited on the lawn.

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Guest Major Tom

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Boom Boom is very disappointed in you.

 

 

Hey, you're the one who tossed the line out there in the first place. All I did

was post it here... and put in my own commentary.

 

Besides, that was me the player saying that. Me the character would never

dream of saying something like that to any lady, much less think it.

 

 

Major Tom :D

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A few of the last words of Evorhan Dinwhistle.

 

Evorahn: "You God is a six armed who "makes war" from shadows and cries whe the light is shined upon him. Ehlonna fears him no more than I fear you. Even if you kill me today, know that I will forever haunt your dreams, and I killed killed so many more of you than you did of I."

 

Unfortunately, the last archer lucked out after I had killed the two priests. I did not die there, but was sacrificed.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Teen Champions ...

 

In the mold of Quagmeyer from Family Guy, as the guy with the computer skills goes a'hacking ... "Geekity geekity geekity!"

 

The newest student is recieving the official Ravenscroft Image Inducer. The GM mimes the action by holding her hand out, as if holding a small object.

GM: "Here, take this."

Me (OOC): "It is 'Pez'."

 

"Did you spend points on 'Dude' as a language? I mean, it's like 'Aloha' to you at this point ..."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

More Quotes From the Defenders Congregate Game. Only have a couple this week.

 

Jack Kirby (Nighthawk) is being chased through his building by Durak. Someone OOC ask the player what his plan is:

 

"He's a brick! I don't have a plan!"

 

And:

 

Warforge: "Dead people are suprisingly hard to sneak past."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A Game of Thrones. I'm playing the 16 year old, farmboy ranger dude. We introduce ourselves...

 

Me: "It is good to meet you all. I'm a simple woodsman from a farm in the north with dreams of becoming a Royal Huntsman."

 

Marcus: "A farm boy eh? What did your family name you? And what did you grow?"

 

Me: "I am Malachai Fieldrow. My family grew corn."

 

(Room groans at bad Stephen King reference)

 

Much Later...

 

Malachai: "Marcus, I wanted to thank you again for paying that woman to make me a man. I can already feel the difference."

 

Marcus: "Like what exactly?"

 

Malachai: "It burns when I pee!" *Smiles widely and genuinely* "That must mean I am now truly a man!"

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

From Sundog's Champions Game, last night. Yes, it's your favorite disfunctional supergroup, the Skeleton Crew.

 

We got into a scuffle with the King of Lemuria. He attempted to mind control Drhoz's character, Vitas, with the command, "Kill your friends." On Vitas' next phase and one amazing breakout roll later...

Vitas: Hello, Friend. (Blasts his Majesty.)

 

Later in the same fight, he uses the same command on our team's teleporter. Immagine his surprise when Void then simply disappeared. (He actually had teleported to Los Angeles, where his girlfriend, who also happened to be the nearest person he considered a friend, lived. He made his breakout roll just short of killing her...*whew*).

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Vampire LARP. Me as my french toreador Anton La Baisez, and we go out to retake the city from the Sabbat. I have an exceptionally good night on chops, and personally stake 5 Sabbat, and help kill some demon thing.

 

Later, I see the prince about it...

 

Garrett Dannington: "So Anton, I hear my Keeper and Toreador Primogen was a one man wrecking crew out there tonight. You were one with the stake."

 

Anton: Oui your grace. I was so..how you say, one with the stake, that you could have served me with a side of fries and a milkshake."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Got to sneak in a session of my Via game yesterday, despite holiday insanity.

 

To recap: Lina, the somewhat leader, is sensitive about her height. Father Danaecus has recently perfected a spell which allows him to change others' shape. The party uses it to disguise themselves a lot.

 

Lina: "Can you make me taller?"

Father D: "There's limits to what I can do."

 

Later, they learn that their whereabouts have been given away to evil people after them, so they move to another inn. The following day, Lina returns to the first inn, to find there's been a break-in, and five innocent people were killed.

 

Josh (OOC): "The moral of the story is, don't ask the GM what happened."

 

Lastly, the party, shape-shifted to look like the party of bad guys they'd captured and let free, infiltrate a small fortress, where it turns out the evil organization trains their spies.

 

Josh (I couldn't tell if it was IC or OOC): "I would like to take this moment to reflect on the irony of the situation."

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

A couple from last week’s Champions game:

 

Inertia’s player forgets which PC has the Psych Lim: “Distracted by the voices in his head” (all OOC) --

Inertia: “I thought you hear voices in your head? You said they mostly tell you to put the knife down?”

Enigma: “No, that was out of character.”

Inertia: (nervous pause) “Ah.”

 

There is some understandable mistrust of Built To Last, given that he’s wearing a suit of power armor that formerly belonged to a notorious serial killer / cult leader --

Enigma: “Are you or are you not a serial killer?”

Built To Last: “No I’m not.”

Inertia: “Of course he’s not going to say he is! If he says he isn’t one, then you know he is.”

BtL: “Ah, I didn’t realize today was Backwards Day. OK, fine I am a serial killer.”

Inertia: “See! See!”

BtL: “I think I’m being pre-judged.”

 

And later…

BtL: “Some serial killers lie; other tell you the truth. I assure you if I were a serial killer, I’d be one of the honest ones.”

 

 

Promethean calls Built To Last’s new cell phone --

Promethean: (holds up phone) “Phillip, we need you to meet us at...”

BtL: (OOC) “Rats, you didn't give me a chance to answer the phone.”

Promethean: (OOC) Oh, sorry. (IC) “Ring, ring.”

BtL: (IC - picks up phone) “Love is all around!”

(silence…)

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

There is some understandable mistrust of Built To Last, given that he’s wearing a suit of power armor that formerly belonged to a notorious serial killer / cult leader --

Enigma: “Are you or are you not a serial killer?”

Built To Last: “No I’m not.”

Inertia: “Of course he’s not going to say he is! If he says he isn’t one, then you know he is.”

BtL: “Ah, I didn’t realize today was Backwards Day. OK, fine I am a serial killer.”

Inertia: “See! See!”

BtL: “I think I’m being pre-judged.”

 

These two are going to cause Enigma to carry aspirin around.

 

Advil: 6D6 Dispel Headache.

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Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...

 

Almost forgot these interactions. They're kind of more fun out of context.

 

Seth is an NPC, soon to be a dad. Lina, once again, is the kind-of leader. Rastal and Danaecus are PCs.

 

Seth: "Apparently elves gestate for two years." *shrugs*

Lina: "Oh. Well, good. We have time to get her baby shower presents, then."

Rastal: "Get presents, save the world, cross the world to go see the mother-to-be, save the world again along the way . . ."

 

Later,

 

Lina: "Seth, you weren't a hero in your past life, too, were you?"

Seth: "Well, actually, yeah."

Danaecus: "Have we heard of you?"

Seth: "Probably not. Not many people have. I kind of pissed off the elves."

Lina: "Oh, you're THAT guy."

Danaecus: "Well, before you die and are reborn again, can you let us know in case someone decides to kidnap you and use your energy for evil purposes?"

Seth: "Uh, sure."

 

Still later,

 

Lina's player: "I'm making baby clothes for Ryllis's child. Oh yeah! I can sew! I'll sew baby clothes."

Me: "What size?"

Rastal's player: "Well, Ryllis is . . . very tall, and Seth's . . ." *looks at the ceiling* *looks at Lina's player* "The baby will be as big as you!"

Lina's player: *ignores him* "So I'm making clothes of all sizes for this baby. Just in case."

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