Cancer Posted January 10, 2022 Report Share Posted January 10, 2022 You can buy battery-powered electrically heated items of clothing. One retired gentleman was given an electric vest for Christmas. Not entirely convinced but willing to give it a try, he used it most days after the holiday. Come mid-January and he was visited by his daughter, who'd given him the vest. She asked how it was working for him. "Well, it is warm," he said. "It just just doesn't feel quite right, though, truth be told." "What's the problem?" she asked. "Well, to really feel right, I'd want it to make me feel the same as when I have half a bottle of bourbon for breakfast." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted January 10, 2022 Report Share Posted January 10, 2022 2 minutes ago, Cancer said: You can buy battery-powered electrically heated items of clothing. One retired gentleman was given an electric vest for Christmas. Not entirely convinced but willing to give it a try, he used it most days after the holiday. Come mid-January and he was visited by his daughter, who'd given him the vest. She asked how it was working for him. "Well, it is warm," he said. "It just just doesn't feel quite right, though, truth be told." "What's the problem?" she asked. "Well, to really feel right, I'd want it to make me feel the same as when I have half a bottle of bourbon for breakfast." That’s not staying warm. That’s staying cooked. This is being written from beneath the electric blanket I got for Christmas. 🥶 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 10, 2022 Report Share Posted January 10, 2022 Lol (33.3C) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted January 10, 2022 Report Share Posted January 10, 2022 NSFW Spoiler L. Marcus, wcw43921, Christougher and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 10, 2022 Report Share Posted January 10, 2022 Bread is like the sun… It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 10, 2022 Report Share Posted January 10, 2022 A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 My wife tripped and dropped a basket full of freshly ironed clothes. I just sat back and watched it all unfold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slikmar Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 And now that you have to do the laundry....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 12, 2022 Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 It sucks that a lot of us got out of shape during COVID but at least we each got atrophy to show for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 12, 2022 Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 Participation atrophy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aylwin13 Posted January 12, 2022 Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 1 hour ago, Pariah said: Participation atrophy? Yup. Everybody's a whinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted January 12, 2022 Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 *weiner aylwin13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aylwin13 Posted January 12, 2022 Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 That, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 13, 2022 Report Share Posted January 13, 2022 How about wino? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted January 13, 2022 Report Share Posted January 13, 2022 12 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: It sucks that a lot of us got out of shape during COVID but at least we each got atrophy to show for it. I regained all the weight I had lost prior to the lockdown. My fault. I have a treadmill and an exercise bike among other things, but I chose to become a couch potato. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted January 13, 2022 Report Share Posted January 13, 2022 2 hours ago, tkdguy said: I regained all the weight I had lost prior to the lockdown. My fault. I have a treadmill and an exercise bike among other things, but I chose to become a couch potato. It’s important to have both a treadmill and an exercise bike....That gives you a place to hang both clean AND dirty clothes. btw....I AM, I AM, THE TUBER KING!!!! (sorry, the classical station I’m listening to right now is on a Gilbert & Sullivan run right now.) tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted January 13, 2022 Report Share Posted January 13, 2022 couch potato is a valid lifestyle choice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 13, 2022 Report Share Posted January 13, 2022 Potatoes have a lot more eyes than other things, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 13, 2022 Report Share Posted January 13, 2022 What do you call a fat psychic? A 4-chin teller. Alternately... Spoiler A large medium. mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 13, 2022 Report Share Posted January 13, 2022 I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships. I took gold, silver, and bronze. mattingly, Ockham's Spoon and Pariah 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted January 13, 2022 Report Share Posted January 13, 2022 2 hours ago, Logan.1179 said: What do you call a fat psychic? A 4-chin teller. Alternately... Reveal hidden contents A large medium. Madam, if respectful; and charlatan if not respectful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 14, 2022 Report Share Posted January 14, 2022 I just ate a kid's meal at McDonalds. That little girl's mom was really mad at me. Logan D. Hurricanes and Ockham's Spoon 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 14, 2022 Report Share Posted January 14, 2022 A copy of Oliver Twist just fell on my toe. It hurts like the dickens. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted January 14, 2022 Report Share Posted January 14, 2022 Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing - not one canary! slikmar and Ockham's Spoon 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted January 15, 2022 Report Share Posted January 15, 2022 Be careful when buying things online. I learned the hard way that if you buy a wristwatch that claims that you can swim with it, that only applies if you could already swim without it. slikmar, Logan D. Hurricanes, Pariah and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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