teh bunneh Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Re: Jokes Another one of my Patented Mightybec-Bad Jokes: Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: You f*** her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Re: Jokes Another one of my Patented Mightybec-Bad Jokes: Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: You f*** her. I always heard that as Dress her up as an Alter Boy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 20, 2007 Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Re: Jokes I recall hearing recently that it's now okay to kiss nuns occasionally. You just can't get into the habit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted July 21, 2007 Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 Re: Jokes And if the King hears about you kissing a Nun, you'll be Royally Frocked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted July 21, 2007 Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 Re: Jokes Reminds me of the dirty joke about the hippie and the nun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Re: Jokes Q: What do you call the ratio of the circumference of an igloo to its diameter? A: Eskimo Pi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes Q: What do you call the ratio of the circumference of an igloo to its diameter? A: Eskimo Pi. Good! But I plotted that one out before looking at the spoiler. It's easy when you use polar bear coordinates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes Good! But I plotted that one out before looking at the spoiler. It's easy when you use polar bear coordinates. Well, it's obvious you'd do it that way. To do it the other way would be putting Descartes before the horse. (Cartesian coordinates and all that.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes Q: What do you call the ratio of the circumference of an igloo to its diameter? A: Eskimo Pi. Good! But I plotted that one out before looking at the spoiler. It's easy when you use polar bear coordinates. Well, it's obvious you'd do it that way. To do it the other way would be putting Descartes before the horse. (Cartesian coordinates and all that.) Yes yer honor, that's when I killed them. I know it was harsh but if they'd been allowed to keep going who knows what horror they would have unleashed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes Fixed it for you. Yes yer honor' date=' that's when I [b']iced[/b] them. I know it was harsh but if they'd been allowed to keep going who knows what horror they would have unleashed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes Yes yer honor, that's when I killed them. I know it was harsh but if they'd been allowed to keep going who knows what horror they would have unleashed. Man, that's cold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes Man' date=' that's cold.[/quote'] yeah, it sends Chills down my spine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes It's a cryogenic shame about those guys, you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes Yes yer honor, that's when I killed them. I know it was harsh but if they'd been allowed to keep going who knows what horror they would have unleashed. You'll need more than a technicality to walk freon this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Re: Jokes You'll need more than a technicality to walk freon this one. I don't know, I think he might (ice)skate by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Jokes Nah, he'll be cooling his heels in the Big (ice)House for a long, long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Jokes I don't know if any of the rest of you heard this, but the American Medical Association just approved the use of lawyers in medical research instead of lab rats. They cited four main reasons: 1. There are more of them. 2. The researchers don't get so attached. 3. The ASPCA doesn't consider it cruelty. 4. There are some things a rat just won't do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyper-Man Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Jokes That's cold medicine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Jokes A man called his dentist and asked, "How much to get a root canal?" "Oh, that'll be $1,500," said the dentist. "Ouch, that's too much. Any way you can do it cheaper?" The dentist thought a moment. "Well, I could have my assistant do it for $1,250." "Still too much." "Okay, how about a dental school student, as practice. Then it'd cost about $1,000." "Well, that's still more than I wanted to pay. Say, how much if you don't use any painkiller?" "Are you nuts?" asked the dentist. "The pain would be phenomenal!" The man replied, "Let me worry about that. How much would it cost?" "Without any painkillers, and with a student doing the root canal, it would run you about $600." "Sounds fine," said the man. "When can you schedule my mother-in-law to come in for it?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edsel Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Jokes The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I started jumping up and down along with her. She said, "I have some really great news!" I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy." She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'? She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said....(You're going to love this!) "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted July 27, 2007 Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Re: Jokes The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I started jumping up and down along with her. She said, "I have some really great news!" I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy." She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'? She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said....(You're going to love this!) "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!" I haven't heard a new blonde joke in a while. thanks I'm off to tell all the blondes I know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Jokes There was this painter who believed in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further . As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest buildings. Dennis put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine. Well, Dennis was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Dennis clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint. Dennis was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: "Oh, God, forgive me; what should I do?" And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke... "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Jokes Did I tell you the one about the guy who didn't pay his exorcisism bill? Me and the other demons just repossessed his soul...mah ha ha!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Jokes A blind man walked into a bar one night. One of the patrons at the bar saw him and helped him get to a barstool and get a drink. After a few minutes, the blind man leaned over to his new friend and said, "I just heard the world's best blonde joke. Would you like to hear it?" The other man said, "Friend, before you say another word, there's something you need to know." "What's that?" the blind man asked. "There are five people besides you in this bar. The bartender is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. There are two women sitting at the end of the bar. One is an off-duty police officer, and the other is a Marine Corps gunnery sergeant, and they're both blond. I'm six-foot-four, two hundred and sixty pounds, and I've got a third degree black belt in karate, and I'm blonde. "So," the man concluded, "Are you sure you really want to tell that joke?" The blind man thought about it for a minute and said, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Re: Jokes Well, it's obvious you'd do it that way. To do it the other way would be putting Descartes before the horse. (Cartesian coordinates and all that.) There's no need to get so graphic. You can be plane with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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