Shadow Hawk Posted August 15, 2016 Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 Star Trek Light Bulb Jokes Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb? A: Klingons are NOT afraid of the dark. Q. What do you do with a Klingon who changes a light bulb? A: Execute him for cowardice. Q: What does a Klingon do with a burned out light bulb? A: Execute it for failure. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeropoint Posted August 16, 2016 Report Share Posted August 16, 2016 Q: How many Starfleet engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Starfleet vessels don't carry spare bulbs . . . but if combine an empty whisky bottle with a previously unmentioned type of subatomic particle, we can jury-rig something in the third act." death tribble 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wcw43921 Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 BATMAN: "So what is it that you do?" AQUAMAN: "I fight all of the villains in the sea." BATMAN: "I've never heard of any villains in the sea." AQUAMAN: "Yeah--because I do my job." Burrito Boy and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks them, "Would you like a drink?" The first logician says, "I don't know." The second logician says, "I don't know." The third logician says, "Yes!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 Decartes, who is also with them, says, "I think not," and promptly pops out of existance. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 You should have told the joke about Horace in the bar first. But, then again, maybe it's not a good idea to put Horace before Decartes. Christougher, Cancer and aylwin13 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Ten-tickles Pariah, wcw43921 and Amorkca 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 I dated a Jewish girl once. We had a lot of fun together, but she made it clear at the outset that we could never really be serious because I wasn't Jewish. I was her goy boy toy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megaplayboy Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 I dated a Jewish girl once. We had a lot of fun together, but she made it clear at the outset that we could never really be serious because I wasn't Jewish. I was her goy boy toy. If she had more than one boyfriend, then you would have been her go-to goy boy toy. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outsider Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 If he were shy and named Roy, he could be her coy goy boy toy Roy. Shadow Hawk, Pariah and Starlord 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 Oy! Lucius and Shadow Hawk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 Read the whole joke here. Pariah, bigbywolfe, tkdguy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 Law Nurd (sic): What does it mean when you're sitting at your desk and you have an urge to buckle the seat belt? Eyebeam: It means your grip on reality is getting all sweaty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Q: Why are Godzilla movies so cheap to make? A: Economies of scale Shadow Hawk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted September 16, 2016 Report Share Posted September 16, 2016 Two blondes were driving through Michigan and approaching Sault St. Marie when they began arguing over how to pronounce the city name. Eventually, they decided to ask a local, so they pulled into a fast food restaurant. They walked up to the counter and one of the blondes asked the guy behind the counter, "How do you pronounce the name of this place?" The fast food worker looked at the blondes and said, very slowly and carefully, "Burrrrgerrrr Kiiiing." Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 16, 2016 Report Share Posted September 16, 2016 There should be no monotony In studying your botany It helps to strain And train your brain Unless you haven't gotany. tkdguy and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 16, 2016 Report Share Posted September 16, 2016 There once was a poet named Stan Whose poetry never did scan When told it was so He said, "Yes I know, But I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 16, 2016 Report Share Posted September 16, 2016 There was a young woman from Crewe Whose limericks stopped at line two Logan D. Hurricanes and BoloOfEarth 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeropoint Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 There was a young poet from Dunn. Pariah and BoloOfEarth 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 There was a young poet from Dunn. (cue dramatic music) Dunn, dunn, dunn!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 Q: What did iron do when manganese tried to cesium? A: He called the coppers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 17, 2016 Report Share Posted September 17, 2016 Lemme see how many of these I can remember It was a dark and stormy nitrogen Come and get me copper Kiss my arsenic Kiss my astatine Zinc the Bismarck Sink the Bismuth Jack Nickel-a$$ Rin tin tin Osmium and Harriet Cesium and desist order Xenon Warrior Princess Berkelium Breathed (Freddy Mercury, of course) You despicable cadmium Shirley you can't be cerium FrankL and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted September 24, 2016 Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 Obscure Joke Warning: Did you hear about the U.S.S. Gossip Girl? It has two Executive Officers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 I'm always afraid that when a woman sees me naked for the first time she'll scream and run out of the park. tkdguy and Old Man 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 28, 2016 Report Share Posted September 28, 2016 Him: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Her: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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