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Top Five Fictional Characters to Punch In the Face


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Well, Tony Stark wanted to punch him more than once.... :)


...although Steve was proven right about the Accords as they ended up being merely a political move with control handed over to a complete scumbag (Ross).  Also, Bucky was completely innocent of the bombing.  Not telling Tony about his parents murder was certainly a face-punching move though.

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My choices:


The boss guy on The Apprentice.

The businessman who shows up in Home Alone 2.


Okay, for realsies with fictional characters this time:


Eric Cartman from South Park

Blaine DeBeers from iZombie

Nanny Fran Fine from The Nanny (ye gods, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard!)

Roseanne from Roseanne

I'll second Jar Jar Binks.

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From the same list that I found Scrappv Doo on someone put Borat, Newman from Seinfeld, Carrie Bradshaw, Hannah Montana, Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch, Barney, Ally McBeal, Susan Delfino (Terri Hatcher's character in Desperate Housewives) and The Cat in the Hat (movie version). But they do not have Jessie Eisenberg's version of Lex Luthor from Batman vs Superman

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18 hours ago, Blue said:

Wesley Crusher.  Yeh, the kid who played him turned out okay IRL, but that character...


Joffrey Baratheon.  Series; I haven't read the books.


Von Kaiser.  Sure it's a video game character but his face is literally made to be punched.


Short Round.  Not proud of wanting to punch a kid, but tell me he doesn't have it coming.



Well, if i punch a kid, it will be the boy from Jurassic Park.  Short Round was at least moderately useful .

7 hours ago, death tribble said:

There are enough Harry Potter fans around why has the name Dolores Umbridge not come up ?


But looking up annoying characters I think I may have a winner.

Ladies, Gentlemen,Others


Scrappy Doo

But, that is low hanging fruit.

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13 hours ago, Starlord said:

Well, Tony Stark wanted to punch him more than once.... :)


...although Steve was proven right about the Accords as they ended up being merely a political move with control handed over to a complete scumbag (Ross).  Also, Bucky was completely innocent of the bombing.  Not telling Tony about his parents murder was certainly a face-punching move though.

    PREPARE FOR RANT...3...2...1...RANT!

    Tony Stark is an alcoholic with control issues so large that on the weekends they go out and crush small Japanese cities.  
    He pendulum swings wildly between tantrums of the “Daddy...pay attention to me!” type, going on ad nauseam about never listening to or respecting ANY authority, and then boldly stating that since he is smarter than everyone else they should follow him blindly and agree with any nonsense that pops into his addled mind. 
  Let’s see how smart ‘ole Tony Stank really is.  
   He ignored everything happening at his company to such an extent that he was almost murdered by the guy he paid to steal it.   He announced his being Iron Man at a press conference without thinking what it might do to said company’s stock prices thus destroying the savings of his investors and the jobs of his employees. Not to mention possibly putting the lives of anybody standing near him in jeopardy when some bad guy came to call.  He was dumb enough to tell Ivan Vanko how to power up his armor, ‘cause hell, nobody ever escaped from being a prisoner before...right.  He gave a terrorist the address of the home he shared with his girlfriend, and instead of moving her out ASAP he got obsessed with hearing how she liked her giant bunny rabbit. He let his PTSD talk him into taking an object from space that he didn’t understand, talked someone with no backbone into hiding their experiments from the rest of the team and after he accidentally created a “murderbot” he had the nerve to act like the team was just too stupid to understand when they called him to task.      
After all that he decides to hook up with an asshole with an Ahab fixation on someone who is supposedly one of his best friends and come up with the Sokovian Accords.

   I’m starting to see spots in front of my eyes so I’ll let the idiocies of the rest of the films go for now   Tony Stark should be punched in the mouth on an hourly basis for about 6-8 months with an occasional surprise boot to the nads a couple of times a week.       Thank you. 

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16 minutes ago, Grailknight said:

Everything there is valid except MCU Tony is not an alcoholic.


In fairness to him, he created Ultron after Wanda mind zapped him.

    Wanda affecting his mind is a point for debate.  
    But the next time you watch the Iron Man movies notice how often Tony has an alcoholic drink in his hand.  That got dialed way back in later films, but the earlier ones were true to the comics version of Stark as a heavy drinker.

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I took his drinking to be one manifestation of Tony's general hedonism, along with gambling, womanizing, race car driving, and whatever else caught his fancy.


Wanda deliberately pulled Tony's greatest fear to the forefront of his mind -- when he saw the full Chitauri host and mothership, and realized the magnitude of the threat to Earth. She gave him a vision of the other Avengers killed after failing to stop that threat, and Cap blaming him for not saving them. IMO the film makes clear that that was the last big push leading Tony to create Ultron, once he discovered the Mind Stone's AI matrix.

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Tap it? Sure. But the only time in the movies we saw it actually affecting Tony's behavior was in Iron Man 2, in response to anticipating his imminent death. Even then he retained enough control to beat armored Rhodey down twice. We never see his alcohol intake impairing his ability to function when he needed to.

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Tjack, I like that first line in your rant--I may steal it and modify it for my own purposes.


That said--I actually think Stark publicly revealing himself to the world as Iron Man helped his company's stock rather than hurt it.  Remember after he got back from Afghanistan how he announced Stark International would no longer build weapons--that would have depressed the share value, sending it perhaps not into a death spiral, but a steady decline.  Announcing himself as the first publicly active superhero since Captain America would have, I think, sent the share value through the proverbial roof--and that was before the licensing and merchandising deals.  We saw it in Iron Man 2--he wasn't just a superhero, he was a rock star superhero.  ("That's someone like Elvis Presley, or The Beatles, or Jimi Hendrix--" "I know what a rock star is."  "Of course.  Sorry, Steve.")  And I would imagine saving New York City along with the Avengers sent the stock valuation rising even higher--which would probably make it harder for him to buy back his stock if he ever decided to take the company back private.  As for endangering his friends and employees--that's a problem for any superhero, whether their identity is known or not.  Friends, family, bystanders, sidekicks--they're all targets when the arch-enemy comes to call.


Yes, Tony Stark has his flaws.  (Although I will point out that his PTSD was aggravated by Wanda's mental influence.) But if I remember right--that was the point.  When Stan Lee created the Marvel Universe as we know it today--in partnership with Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, Bill Everett and a host of others--he wanted to create characters he could relate to, who had flaws, idiosyncrasies, responsibilities beyond fighting the forces of evil.  I've heard it said that "Superman is who we want to be--Spider-Man is who we are."  I disagree with that.  To my mind, Superman is who we want to be--Clark Kent is who we are.  Spider-Man is who we want to be--Peter Parker is who we are.  Only more so.  


The thing that Stan did that was so groundbreaking was that the hero could escape his problems by changing into his superhero identity and bring down the bad guy--but when he went back to his regular life, the problems were still there, and he still had to deal with them.  Most superheroes before then weren't quite so flawed--Superman may have had Kryptonite, and Clark may not have been able to get a date with Lois, but at the end of the day, he was still Superman.  Batman shortly after he partnered up with Robin dropped most of the brooding pulp-magazine qualities he had at the beginning--crimefighting was still a challenge, but most of all, it was fun.  Stan changed all that.


Yes, Tony Stark has flaws, and we curse him for it--especially if they are the same flaws we share.  But we also cheer when he overcomes them and saves the day--because we figure if he can do it, we can do it, too.


I don't know as that addresses all your concerns.  Those are just some thoughts on the subject--take them as you will.

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